Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The year of 25.

This post has been a really hard one to sit down and write. I think I've tried to start this about 10 times, and then I'd erase it because it's not a story I was sure I wanted to share. I'm not really sure how to even approach this because it sounds soooo crazy...and in reality...it really is freaking crazy. So, instead of dragging this out any longer, I'll just go ahead and tell you.

I thought I was going to (*gulp*) die this year.

Pretty melodramatic I know. I'm certain you're thinking I'm insane. It's totally okay to think that because I totally agree with you. I realize that this seems a bit over the top and crazy...because in fact, it is.

Today is my 26th birthday...and well, I feel old. I feel REALLY old. I'm closer to 30 than I am 20, I'm noticing fine lines and wrinkles making their way onto my face and even though it would be really easy to sit here and dwell on that (ha ha) I wanted to share a story with you that has really affected my life.

Now, you may be thinking WHAT THE HECK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT!? It's a funny story I tell ya. It's something I have had a hard time admitting to my closest friends and loved ones because either 1) I knew they'd think it was ridiculous. or 2) because it showed weakness in my Faith for Him. Ridiculous is something I can handle (Pshhh Ridiculous is my middle name!)...but my Faith? That is something I hold near and dear to my heart. Admitting that I thought that the year of "25" was my year to die? Yeah, it made me sick. But as much as I tried not to think about it...it haunted the back of my mind in a way I never want to experience again.

When I was 15 years old, my Mom and I moved to Northern California. My Mom was engaged to be married and one day we went to San Francisco to explore the city. Here I was, a small town Texas girl who had just moved from everything I'd ever known and smack dad in the middle of a huge, beautiful and brilliant city. On this day, we were walking around Pier 39 and I was just minding my own business. I remember exactly where I was, and the feeling that came over me. We were just coming back from seeing the seals, and my Mom was calling me to come out of this goofy hat store. I started walking by her and I felt an eerie feeling that someone was just staring at me.

Now, let me rewind a minute.

Have you ever had that feeling? You know, one that is incredibly unpleasant and makes you feel like you're being watched? That feeling that gives you the heebie jeebies?

I had had this feeling one time before when I was 13 years old. I was changing in my room in the back of my home after a shower, and my blinds were open. It was the summer and it was around midnight, and we live in an area where there were NO houses around me. I was getting dressed and I remember feeling really weird. I felt like someone was spying on me, so I went to my windows and I closed my blinds trying to ignore this so called "feeling." I walked into my Mom's room and said, "Mom, I feel like I'm being watched." Mind you, my Mom is asleep and I remember her mumbling something like, "Mhmmm sweetie,...gargle gargle gargle...go to bed."

I go back to my room and I laid in bed watching that late night Jerry Springer (hey, it was the only thing on) until about 5 minutes later I heard a HUGE crash coming from our kitchen. I jumped up and ran to my Mom's room as fast as I could and I could see my Mom putting her finger over her mouth to silence me, bright eyed and raised in bed, punching the lime green dials on the cordless phone as fast as she could.

We heard more commotion and next thing I know my Uncle's cop car is at our house and my Papaw is walking over to our house in his underwear with a shot gun. My Mom and I went outside and stood on the porch and my Uncle Larry told us to move to the side as he shined his flashlight to the side of our house. There laid a man...a very drunk man...with his pants unzipped and next to a broken air conditioner that had fell off of our house. He had tried to break in our house by climbing up on the lawn mower, and onto the air conditioning unit by the kitchen window (which is right by my room). My Uncle arrested him and I later found out that his shirt was on the back steps to my room. Ever since that day, I've always been thankful to have a "6th sense" as I say. I always know when someone is watching me. And to this day, I will argue with you until I'm blue in the face about it. I seriously KNOW.

So, on to my story. Sorry about that, but I just wanted to fill you in on this "feeling" I got that day on Pier 39. So, there we are...walking and I felt it. Redundant? Haha, I know. I sped up a little to get closer to my Mom and then I saw this tall man in dark clothes in the corner of my eye staring at me from across the Pier. S-T-A-R-I-N-G in a way that literally gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. I tried to look away thinking the man was staring at something else, but everytime I glanced up, there he was...staring. Next thing I know, the man starts to walk up to me very briskly. My Mom and soon to be step Dad have no idea that this is going on in my head, and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm just imagining things. The man got closer and closer and then before I know it...the man is right beside me. He gets right up to my face. So close I could smell his breath...The look in his eyes was so intense. I can't even begin to describe it. He looks deep into my eyes and says:

"You're going to die when your 25."

I'm sure terror flashed across my face as he said this with a snarky, intense smile. My step dad yelled at the man and he walked away...just like that. I didn't look back...and I just remember feeling awkwardly weird.

But, I mean, heck, I was 15. 25 seemed SO far away. No BIG deal right? Dude was out of his mind.

Until, last year...when I turned 25.

It has been a really, really trying year for me. Everywhere I went, I was cautious. I was always thinking of the worst case scenario and counting down the months until I was 26 because I just wanted to put this all behind me. When I found out that my chloesterol was high, I think I started freaking out even more because I was sure I was going to die of a heart attack. Especially with the amount of stress that has been havocking my body. Fear was taking over my life to the point I'd just cry because I couldn't get this man and his statement out of my head. And y'all, 25 was a great year but I can't help but think how scared I was ALL. THE. TIME. Driving to work, driving to photo shoots, roller coasters, airplanes...any way you could think of dying...I was thinking about it. I was letting it control my life.

I've prayed to God a zillion times this year to help me get rid of this demon in my mind. Some days I did great, and others, not so much. I've lived in fear for a whole year because of some random lunatic of a stranger. I mean, WHO does that!?!? What an evil man! But, sadly, I am the idiot who actually let it get to me. I am ashamed...but at the same time...I'm so so so releived this is over. If something happens today, or tomorrow, or years from now...OKAY. It's God's plan. But, thankfully, 25 was not in the plan like this stranger predicted.

To this day, I'll never know why this man did this to me. I never really thought about it until I approached the age. I think getting older makes people more emotional, and in my case, it has made me worry a lot.

I have more Faith today than I'll ever need. I am so happy I can put all of this behind me and hopefully not feel like some crazy person. As much as people told me, "Shay! It's not gonna happen!" I still couldn't get the small chance that this man could be right.

I'm feeling relieved today...and probably for the rest of my life. I'd like to celebrate this birthday in a way like I haven't before. Please promise me you won't do what I did and live your life in fear. It isn't worth it. All I know is that your life is in His hands, and that he is the only one that knows when it's your time to go.

CRAZY STORY THOUGH, RIGHT!? AHHHHHHHHH! It feels good to share this with you guys.

It's already been one of the best birthdays ever too. This lady right here brought tears to my eyes. Sweetest post EVER.

I love y'all! XOXOXOXOXOXO!


  1. OH MY GOSH!!!! Thank goodness that creeper was wrong!!! Happy birthday girlie! :) Hopefully 26 is an AMAZING year for you!!

  2. oh shayyyyyyyy!!!!!!! That is awful! :( You know that man was probably a DEMON who was just TRYING to instill fear in you. I know these days most people do not believe in evil and demons, but I really do. I think it exists everyday all around us-- and they come to steal joy. I am so glad you are past all of that though and your faith is even stronger now. I just love you-- 26 is gonna be the best year evvvvvver, I just know it!


  3. Omg! That's crazy! That creeper was so weird. I kind of have a similar story, minus the creeper. It made me think of the time when I was in sixth grade. All of these events started happening that involved the number 23. Since then, it became my lucky number. As I got older, I thought maybe it wasn't my lucky number and maybe it was the age I would die. No joke... I'm serious. I was scared of that year too. That year has come and gone, and I'll be 26 this year. 23 actually turned out to be a good age, that's when I met my hubby. Boy, was I scared at times though. I honestly don't know why I thought that.

    Anyway, happy birthday girl!

  4. omg, that is terrible that he did that to you! and so sad that last year you lived in fear of dying.

    well, happy 26th birthday my darling ... i hope that this year is full of celebration and just enjoying life to the fullest!

  5. Omg that is SO scary Shalyn!! What a creeper! And i totally agree with Ashley about him being a demon. Ugh so scary :(

    Well, happy 26th birthday Shay! Make it an amazing year!

  6. I am glad you made it to 26! Both stories sound super crazy! Happy Birthday!!!

  7. wow! crazy story! I would be freaked out too..
    so glad its all over!!!

  8. All I can say is wow. I can not imagine trying to comprehend those words (from a complete stranger nonetheless) at the young age of 15. I don't blame you for feeling the way that you did, and living in fear and stress. Thankfully, his words were not correct. And as you already mentioned, God has plans for you. Perhaps this was a learning lesson to instill your Faith in Him, not others :)

    Happy Birthday ;)

  9. Wow... that is terrible. I am glad you made it to 26! :)

    Happy birthday missy!


  10. omg how awful :/
    So sorry you had to go through these things! But here you are today, happy, healthy, and loved!
    Happy Birthday and cheers to many more!

  11. What a scary/crazy story! I don't blame you for being worried! I would be the same way!

    So glad 25 ended up being a great year for you! Happy Birthday dear!

  12. well cheers to making it to 26! and next time.. just kick them in the shin for freaking you out like that. totally acceptable..

  13. What a creeper!! I'm so happy that your 25th year was great. Happy Birthday! Cheers to year 26!

  14. That's so awful that that guy did that to you and probabaly didn't think twice about how it would affect your life! Thank goodness you were able to move past that year and now HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day :)

  15. What a lunatic, I'm so sorry he did that to you. I am the same way with feelings but I think it's because I watch too many Datelines, 20/29 and Snapped crime shows. I make myself crazy.

    But anywho ---

    I absolutely loved Sab's video. Amazing!! Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!! Make it a great one.

  16. What a lame-o?? I mean, who DOES that?!?!

    All I can say is I'm glad you were born because you pretty much bring a smile to just about any and everyone's face. Thank you for being you. Happy HAPPY birthday to my husband's twin! ;)

    We're meeting this year...I'm determined. Me, you and Jenni. Done. :)

  17. You should take what happened to you and turn it around- tell strangers they are going to live for a long time :)
    I kind of wonder if he had mental issues or something? Because otherwise, really...who does that?!
    Happy birthday!

  18. That gives me the heebee jeebees- I would have been pretty freaked out too, what a creeper!

    Happy birthday gorgeous!

  19. holy moly shay!!!! thats insane but you know what...I'd feel and act the exact same way as you

    in 1995, a kid in my gym class said the world was going to blog up in 2000 (Y2K). legit I swear to you i worried for 5 years and on new years eve i literally squeezed my eyes shut at midnight in the middle of a huge family party and breathed a sigh of relief at 12:01 when we were still alive.

    CRAZYNESS...but since then, i've been trying not to let fear control my life because I am fearful of a TON of things. You are such a brave amazing person and I love you for sharing this with us!

    and I am SO HAPPY that you can now mentally put this behind you!


  20. wow I must love blogging so much because i said the world was going to blog up. I meant BLOW UP! hahaha im silly

  21. OH my crap. What a creeper. I probably wouldn't have left my house for an entire year, you're a lot stronger then I am. :)

    I hope your year is wonderful, and that creeper who told you 25 was your final destination.. Oh I don't know.. I wish him bad things:)

    Happy Happy Birthday.

  22. That is scary as crap!! It would be in my mind too! But you made it! yay!! And what an awesome friend to make you a video!!!

  23. Wow...both stories are freaky! But I guess that makes this birthday all the more worth celebrating! :) Happy birthday!

  24. Holy cow! How weird!!! Thankfully only God knows when our last days are and yours wasn't before your 26th!! Happy Birthday, girl! Hope your day is filled with lots of joy :)

  25. Wow that's crazy.
    Soo intruiging.
    Congratulations on making it to 26 and trusting the Lord's plan :)

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  27. i've thought about your story all day. i can't believe it, it gives me GOOSEBUMPS just thinking it. And you are so right. God is driving the bus here. sometimes, i need to do a better job at telling myself that. and to the guy who said that: you.were.wrong. and we are sooo very thankful for that :) LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL! DDHP would never let anyone harm so shay. NEVER ever! :)

  28. so, i'm a little late on the "reading train" today, but took great encouragement from your post.

    "your days are numbered..." a truth to hold fast to, but one that's hard learned. i too have experienced these feelings of impending death, not quite like you, but in other ways. i wrote a post several months ago, while sliding down a mountainside, called "numbered days". this isn't a plug to my blog (i've already been following you for a bit!) it's just some fellow encouragement from your fellow man.

    thanks for teaching us and sharing with us. much love!

  29. Oh my goodness that is crazy!!! I'm so glad 26 brings such a relief to you and that awful comment is not lingering over you any longer. I can totally relate to living in fear because a certain instance that has haunted me since I was in high school. I'm so glad you posted this and Happy happy biiiiiiiirthday!!!!!

  30. GIRL...that is crazy! That would definitely freak me out too!

    Happy birthday! Here's to having a worry free year :)

  31. Happy 26th, Shay!! BY THE WAY, I saw your tweet about The Fix event...ummmm....THAT IS AMAZING!! :)

  32. Happy birthday! That is one freaky story, but definitely a great reminder to not live in fear. So glad I have found your blog!

  33. I'm so sorry that you had to carry around for a year. I would have felt the same way I have to tell you. Sometimes I get a strange feeling, and there have been times I have wanted to tell someone not to do something when I had a bad feeling, so I understand having strange feelings. I'm glad it's over now! Enjoy 26!

  34. shalyn this story is absolutely crazy. i can't believe this happened to you but i am SO thankful that 25 and the fear it brought is behind and 26 and all it's glory is here (we're totally the same age now woot!). you are such a gift and i'm so thankful for you! Muah! Love you mucho birthday chica!!!

  35. Oh wow! This story is crazy- what an insane man! Glad you can finally breathe easy, sweet girl. Hope you have the best birthday! :)

  36. First, Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

    Second, oh my goodness, that story is crazy and I can't believe some random man on Pier 36 just came up to you at 15 and said that, scary! Plus, even if it seemed silly and crazy at the time, I think that would have been in the back of my mind too all those years...eeek!

    Well, SO glad you are still here and just for the record you are not old...I'm in my 30's...yikes...and feeling myself getting closer to 40 while out with friends from high school for dinner last night and we were all realizing just how many years had past and how we wanted to by time back if we could! :)

    Also, know that you have something to look forward to as well because your 30's really are wonderful and you have a better sense of yourself, I promise! :)

    Sending lots of smiles your way...you also happen to share your birthday with one of my greatest friends from college...love her and I adore you! :)

    Liesl :)

  37. Happy Birthday Shalyn and super glad that now you are going to live your life to the fullest. Thanks for sharing your story, this post -like many others of yours- gives me hope and strenght. Be happy, you deserve nothing less. :-)

  38. nooooooo way! oh my goodness. what creepers! girl, cheers to many many many more years of birthdays and bliss!:-) xoxo

  39. eeeeeeeek, how awful!!! WOOHOO for making it through and welcoming 26 with open arms!! :) Cheers to a great year!!

  40. I can't even express how sorry I am that all that happened to you, but I think it IS a really great lesson to EVERYONE that it doesn't matter what anyone else says about us or our lives or our futures. We should never let anyone have that much power over defining us and how we live our lives, in small ways, or big ones likes this.

    There's what people say... and then there's the truth. There's what we believe or feel... and then there's the truth. I am learning lately that worry really is the biggest misuse of energy and imagination.

    I'm sure you really will take this lesson with you for the rest of your life, and you'll be so much better for it. :) I hope year 26 is a truly amazing one for you, Shalyn. Love you TONS! :)

  41. Ok I just found your blog through Raven or Steph or someone... anyway I've seen you around the bloggyworld but never stopped by your blog until today. You and your hubby are the cutest things ever. Like ever. and I know you hear that alot!

    Anyway, once I found your blog I just kept reading bc you too are so cute and I came across this post and know I think I just found my new bloggy bff. BECAUSE.

    When I was about 21 maybe? I was at this bar and this drunk old lady came up to me and told me she was psychic. So I played along with her game bc its was quite comical, but then she started "reading me my future" and girlfriend? It was scary.

    She started telling me things that could be true like, my sister needed my help in the future (she did) I would marry someone from my past (I did) and I would have two kids. (I did! but she said boys, and they were girls) Then she started being all dramatic and crying, YES CRYING, and told me this...

    "I dont see your life past the age of 25. Whatever you do, dont sit in the backseat of a car."

    Mind you, I'm 21, single, no kids, and I was like hahahahaha ok crazy lady. Thanks for scaring the shiz outta me.

    BUT then everything started coming true. I got pregnant, then pregnant right away again, then married, then my sister need my help after losing her job, etc etc etc. So when I turned 25, I FREAKED. Just like you, everywhere I went I thought I was going to die. I would NEVER sit in the backseat of the car. Basically stressed to the max.

    BUT here I am, turned 26 in February and alive and kicking... for now :) But it's crazy how someone else went through the same thing as me!