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This has been a really bad week. Like, a really, really, REALLY bad week. It's also been just a weird off week where I want to either jump off a building, or just stick my head in an ice bucket and make my brain go numb.

I have so much on my heart and in my head this week. My mind has been racing and I've been struggling to get through the days. It's been a "When it rains, it pours, but it never stops raining" couple of months and I truly try to focus on the positives. mind has just been doing somersalts. It will not stop.

Which left me pondering...and you know me...I'm random all.the.time.

If you were given another life...what would you do different? Would you do the exact same thing? Or would you do close to the same thing and make a few changes here and there? Or would you want a completely different life?

I've been asking myself this lately...for no reason really...but, I asked Drew the other night and he had no regrets.

Sweet boy, I know, but then I posed another question.

"What if you were to come back in another life...what one extraoridinary talent would you have?"

He said he'd like to be good at something. This answer really, really turned me upside down because well, I think he's good at everything. The guy can do numbers like nobody's business...he's athletic...he's handy, the world's most fun and amazing husband and he can play the guitar...sometimes. ;) (haha babe).

I thought it was so sad that he didn't think he was good at anything. But, what if you're good at lots of things?

Would you rather have one extraordinary talent? Like, say be really, really good at football and be in the NFL? Or, have a beautiful voice and have sell out crowds at arenas and screaming fans be at your feet? Or, just insanely goregous with 10 feet tall legs that land you on covers of magazines and struttin' your stuff down the catwalk?

Then I thought to myself..."What am I good at?"

And I just sat there. Then I sat some more. And nothing came to mind. I mean, do I really feel this way about myself? That's kind of sad, no? And then when I feel like I'm confident about something, there is always that mean little monster of self doubt that comes parading his way through my thoughts.

Drew and I had a good laugh and thought "WOW. We suck don't we? What ARE we good at!?"

Obviously, we are good at something, but have we found our calling in life? Maybe. Maybe not. Most days I think yes, and other days I doubt myself and any talent that I have or lackthere of and think "AM I GOOD ENOUGH?"
WHY do we doubt ourselves and limit ourselves to how great we can be?

WHY are we so hard on ourselves?

Is there ever going to be a day where we are content with our lives?

What is your take on all this?

Do you think the same things? Do you have confidence to achieve things in life that you want?

Do you think that people are born with those talents and that fate got them there?

Or do you think that people just wanted it bad enough and made it happen?

Please share your thoughts? I'm curious to know if I'm the only one who feels this way.

XOXO. (Gossip girl). HA. Totally kidding.

post circle 29 comments :

  1. this is something i struggle with daily. it is so hard these days to believe in yourself when your mind won't let you succeed.

    often times i have to tell my brain to shut the heck up so that i may do the things i love and want to achieve.

    i believe we limit ourselves out of good intention because we want to be the best person we can be. in our mind's eye, we haven't achieved what we want to yet so we are hard and down on ourselves. we are a society of fast results and if it doesn't happen quickly, in our minds it won't happen at all.

    sometimes i have to take a step back to think it's simply enough to be living this one wild and beautiful life the only way we can by doing what we think in our hearts is right for us in these moments. it's all we can do to enjoy this crazy fast life.

    believe in yourself shay! who better to be you and do the things you do than you! (was that as confusing to read as it was to type?)

    you are good at being you and THAT IS ENOUGH! :)

  2. I'm so sorry to hear it's been a bad week :( I totally know what you mean about self doubt. And I feel like it's a double edged sword, cause if I do start giving myself credit on some things, I feel like I'm being stuck up. It's hard to find that perfect middle place of just plain having confidence in yourself.

  3. I think people want it bad enough. But then I thought, "what am I good at?" And the first thing that came to mind was "being a mom." It's not some harvard skill, but its the one I'm most proud of and take the most pride in.

    I think you are GREAT at being a wife, and DDHP is GREAT at being a husband, which is something to really be proud about because most people today are NOT good spouses.

    and I just love you both SOOOOO much!!!!

  4. We are our own worst enemy, aren't we? I struggle with this all the time. My husband is so sweet and tells me that I am a super hero, but I often feel like I am walking around in circles. I hate that I have ZERO TALENTS! I can clear out a room with my singing voice, I suck at photography (always wanted to be good at it), want to be a nurse, but I am so freakin scared of seeing people hurt that I think I am too weak for it. Where are my talents?! I would like to think I am a good Mom, but I definitely fall short everyday. I think the thing that we need to remember is that having a plan, wishing we were good at something over shadows our ability to just "BE"! Be what we were meant to be. If would would stand out of our own way, perhaps we would find something in ourselves that will amaze us.

  5. Ah, im like this. I never even went to college because I couldnt think of just one thing to do.. I was good at a lot of things but not AMAZING at any one thing.
    I still do a great many things, but its always changing,

  6. We've been struggling with this lately too. It's hard when you put your talents out there to not doubt yourself sometimes. Definitely something I'm working on!

  7. I think you are a great photographer, a great wife and overall (from what I know) a good person!!

    There comes a time in life where you will wonder what you are supposed to be? Where is your life's path going? I get lost all the time! I want to do soo many things but my insecurties will hold me back - like photography - I would like to start up my own business, but havent the slightest idea how to get started. Right now its a hobby! But with all that said, then I read posts by the local photographers complaining about the newbies and how they charge too little and not to trust them because they dont know what they are doing... soo frustrating and belittling, but they get me everytime!

    I think we need to stop looking to others to find something missing and maybe look within ourselves and find our true calling!

    Sorry for the rambling... I hope your week gets better ;)

  8. I'm right there with you ... there is nothing I am particularly "good" at ... If I could do it all again I would make some changes. I would apply myself in school, I would get good grades, I wouldn't waste time on people who didn't deserve my time to begin with ... I would be careful who I trust, I would go to school for web design like I originally wanted and not be swayed to do otherwise ... shall I go on?! :-)

  9. I can totally relate, that's me right now. I think that some people are born with talent and some people work their butt off to get where they are. This quote is very encouraging.

  10. I can so relate. It is sort of a quarter life crisis. We lived our whole lives waiting for this moment to be young and responsible and ready to take on the world... and then we just don't! I struggle with being satisfied, but still wanting more out of life! Such a hard balance but at the end of the day you just have to know you are where you are for a reason!

  11. You know what you are good at Shay? Taking freaking amazing pictures oh and being really pretty.. duh! I think everyone goes through rough patches where they aren't happy or feel down and it stinks!! Pick your head up sweet girl.. everything will be okay :)

  12. I took voice lessons for seven years and at one of my performances, someone with more success than I could ever imagine told me that you are your own worst critic. To everyone, I did great but to me I only did ok. I believe 100% in those words. We want to be the best we can be but what is that? I know for myself, I am never completely satisfied with anything I ever do. I've asked myself the same questions that are running through your mind thousands of times especially in the last few months. I would like to think that I will have the confidence to grab at the opportunity to give me what I want in life if it presents itself. I think that's all that any of us can really do. Life is hard and it's made of ups and downs. The good times are great but the bad times are terrible. However, I truly believe that the bad times are what make us who we are and benefit us the most. If you are doubting being good at anything, hopefully what I'm about to say will help at least a little. Don't ever doubt yourself. Even if you don't know you will inspire people in your life. If you don't believe you're good at anything, believe me, you have a knack as an inspirational writer. Your words, although sad to hear, really resonated with me and made me feel not alone in some of the doubts I have about myself. You may not realize it but you are exceptional at something. I believe that it's connecting with people on a deeper level but if you don't agree I'm sure you will find it one day. Never give up hope and keep pushing through. And if all else fails, know that you have inspired at least one person. Me :)


  13. You are not the only one that feels this way. I contemplate this often as well. I think it is hard because our grandmothers and some mothers had such defined rolls. With our generation we were told you can be whatever you want. I know I have changed my mind a million times on what I want to do. I'm not good at anything, but what I do have is a strong work ethic which has taken me a lot father than some of my friends. From your blog I can tell we share this same value. In time I hope you find your path/what makes you happy. Sometimes you just have to say screw it to the people who seem to have everything. We all know they don't, their just really good at hiding their flaws/insecurities.

  14. I feel the same way at times. It seems like everyone else can see what I'm "good" at, and at times I can see it, but there are times I don't. I just feel like some things come easier for others (luck or whatnot). Going through life, I saw people that were good at something, and they always seemed to achieved it. Maybe some will say they worked hard? Maybe, but I think luck has a lot to play in people's destinies. Even now, I see people living out of my dream and I want to be there so bad. I'm starting off on that path, but what if I fail?

    I'm 26 and haven't really found my calling. I mean I have two bachelor degrees and a master's degree. I really want my photographer business to grow. That's what I want to do. I feel judged when people ask why I went to graduate school or why didn't I quit if I didn't want to pursue it after graduation. It's just a back up plan.

    Granted, I am just officially starting out with my business, and I've only had ONE client. I believe I can get to the level I want. My husband believes in me, but I've not sure that I believe in myself. Even before I started, I thought about quitting.

    Sorry this is all over the place. For what it is worth, I think you are an incredible photographer...One that I look up to and admire :)

  15. Pretty sure I have written a similar post no less than 20 times...but have never hit "publish". Why? Cause although I LOVE to write I feel I'm not very good. I go through the exact same things in my mind & I swear to you my husband is good at nearly everything he does. He walks in a room and has 57 friends within seconds. I hang out with people a handful of times & still can't figure out if we hit it off. I struggle with my career (or lack of). I sometimes wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing in life, but I don't so I just go with the flow. I think we all are our own worst critics & in times of uncertainty we are insanely good at picking ourselves apart.

    Just from reading your blog for forever and a day I can tell you are a great photographer, a fantastic wife & your music video dance moves are spectacular! ; ) Hope things turn around soon!

  16. You are amazing. Here are some things that you excel at:

    making friends
    being a friend
    making people laugh
    being happy
    making others happy
    dancing (i've seen the dream team videos)
    and I probably don't even know your REAL talents! Seriously, you are amazing Shay, I am so happy to call you my friend. :) It makes me feel cool.

  17. What a question. One that I don't even want to answer because I can't. I don't know what I'm good at either.

    I don't feel I have any talent worth mentioning. Sad but it is true. Hopefully one day I figure it out. I know I will and I know you will because we're on earth for a reason.

    It's a good thing I'm content with my life.

  18. There was an article in Women's Health Magazine last month (or maybe this month?) but I can't find it. Good story, i know.. But it was about how women are really hard on ourselves and just because something doesn't come easy to us doesn't mean that we're not good at it. We're good at a lot of thing, even if we think that other people are better (that doesn't invalidate our skills). So yes, you are amazing. You are great at being a loving wife. You are beautiful. You are a gifted photographer. And I'm a newbie to your blog - I'm sure there are SO many other things. You are awesome and I'm sending you lots of happy energy to get you through this crappy spot in life! XXOO!

  19. Totally been here before Shay....some things just seem SO damn impossible and then you do it and then look back and realize what all you've accomplished and say to yourself "Well heck! I DID that!"...that's what keeps me going.

    You are so incredibly talented and you know it! I wish I could put into words how talented I think you are but really...there aren't enough words to do you any justice.

    You're doing amazing. At everything. All the time. You're an incredible photographer, a wonderful friend and a loving wife. If all you accomplish in life is the last two...I think you've done well my love. Lots of people aren't successful in friendships and marriages but's just natural. :) LOVE YOU BOO BEAR!!!!!

  20. tooootally felt like this before SO many times! I am always so hard on myself. Like damn I should have taken that class or i should have paid better attention in this, etc.

    going to quote our girl, K.Hampton. Shes blogged this quote a bunch of times:

    Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?

    LOVE this quote! I mean its so have one life. Live it! Do what you want! You're life is awesome shay and I know it! Life is not over yet! You have many many years to become amazing at something! Hell, you could sky dive 10 times and become a professional (i think it takes 10 times to be considered a professional haha!) make a goal list! once you complete, then you're good at it! haha wow i sound lame. But honestly, you are awesome and have abs nothing to be so hard on yourself!

    everyone is DEFINITELY good at something. You're an amazing photographer, you have killer dance love harder than anyone else ive ever known (your relationship with DDHP should be a movie) can cook a mean breakfast (speaking from experience), i could go on an on!

    i am never 100% content with my life so I feel ya! I need to start doing things I want to accomplish! dont worry shay! we have all been there and you'll feel better about it soon i know it! Think thoughts of Boston. And CHOWDA. And pahkin cahs. And me. and kurt. and sabrina!!!

    this is a book. Just know I love ya to pieces my dear! MUAH

  21. Sorry you're having a rough time girl! I have been doing a lot of "self reflection" lately. Am I where I want to be? Doing what I want to do? And then of course there's the looming "what if's." I have no doubt you'll figure everything out and dominate this life of yours. XOXOX.

  22. I feel the same way. I don't feel like I have anything in particular i'm good at. I'm just...normal. I wish more than anything I could be good at singing, or be a best selling author (I want to write a book really badly!) I just have no inspiration and I feel like i'm just kinda blah. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

  23. I loved this post! I sat and thought about it after reading and I'm the same as you... I feel like I'm alright at a lot of things, but "GOOD"? Nah.

    It kind of made me happy to feel that way though ... almost humbling. Because I felt like it was a challenge almost

  24. shay this post blows my mind because i can name a million and five things you AND drew rock at! not to mention, you have two of the biggest hearts i have ever known....i mean, i have your and DDHP's video you sent me and riss saved just b/c i like to be blown away every now and then! there are SO many people (including me) that look to you guys as an example relationship. the way ya'll love eachother is incredible and one of the best things you're "great at" :)

    but homeslice, i guess we all have these self doubts. i definitely struggle with this too like a LOT. and maybe that's not horrible all the time because it pushes me to want to do more and try a lot harder than maybe i might.

    Love you so much boo and hoping and praying the rain lets up on you in austin! muah!!!

  25. i'm having one of those weeks too. i question EVERYTHING. i'm so insecure. i wonder why i am where i'm at and how i got here. why am i not there?

    i think this is "normal"

    i know exactly what you mean. keep up your photography shalyn you're amazing!

  26. I have these days, weeks, months too and find myself questioning myself and my abilities and trying to be content with everything happening in my life.

    It's easy for outsiders to see the postives :)

  27. I think we all have these days, friend! And you know what I think about them? I think these thoughts are the devil trying (sometimes successfully) to feed us lies and give us doubts, fears and uneasy feelings in our stomachs. Whenever I have feelings like these I try to remind myself of what I know 100% to be true in this world. God is faithful, he has given us each special gifts, our worth is found in Jesus not people or things, it's okay to struggle and seek answers, sometimes trials are placed in our lives to learn from, and most of all, we are blessed beyond measure and loved so deeply.
    I think people are given passions, gifts, and talents and when hard work combines with those God-given talents, people achieve great things (or small things in the eyes of people, but great things in the eyes of God).
    I'll be praying for your week this week (and I mean that!) Have you read the book 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp? That always lifts my spirits:)
    Also, I'm pretty positive you're an amazing photographer with a kind, genuine and loving soul. That's a rare find, pretty girl.

  28. I have that thought all.the.time. I'm good at being a mom, and good at working. I'm proud of the mom one, but I still would like to have a skill or talent that I'm really good doesn't count.

  29. Shalyn, sweet girl, you are not alone in this one. Just a few months ago, I was going through this exact same phase. And really that's all it is - a phase. YOU are so much stronger than you think. YOU do have talents. And YOU are good at a lot of things. Can we talk about your photography? Your sweet spirit? And another thing, girl, you're hilarious! And so much more. Never doubt your abilities that God have given you. :)

    Chin up, buttercup!