This is a battle I have with myself daily.
There are days when I want to give up and throw the towel in and then there are days when I am motivated to the infinity power and nothing is going to stop me from achieving my dreams.
It's a mean battle. It's an inner fight I have with myself all the time. I find myself going back and forth between these two extremes all the time.
Last night, I wanted to literally punch myself in the face.
I let my self doubt win and my very own word vomit errupted before it's very eyes and exploded all into these wedding professional's faces.
I said things like:
"Yeah, I'm new. I've only been doing it a year..."
"This whole wedding industry is a little intimidating."
"Yeah, there are so many photographers and aspiring photographers, it gets a little discouraging."
"I don't have much equipment yet."
"I'm not really that good."
How the heck am I supposed to be successful if I say things like this about myself? OUTLOUD at that?
SHAME on me.
Yes, I may be new to pursuing this dream of mine, but who cares if I've only been doing "professional" photography a year. YOU have to start somewhere right???
Yes, the wedding industry IS intimidating. However, so is this thing we call life. Every dream we have is intimidating, but if what happens when we don't dare to dream, and try to accomplish those dreams?
If you don't strive to accomplish your dreams, then your dreams will always be dreams until you decide to make them a reality. And y'all...I'm deciding right now that I'm going to make my dreams a reality.
I often hear from other wedding professionals at events I do and I hear, "Oh, you're a photographer...Yeah, there ARE so many photographers...you really have to learn to set yourself apart." I
even get the occasional, "Good luck!" and one time, a lady said, "Girl, you're going to have to be awesome in order for anyone to recognize your work. You have stiff competition in this city."
You know what I have to say to that?
Sure, I have 240820423957 things to learn. The good news? I LOVE to learn. Learning=Experience. Experience=Professional. I will get there.
I'm tired of comparing myself to others and thinking I'm not good enough...yet.
I'm so tired of letting people make me feel that I'm not good enough to be successful at this.
I'm so done with letting my own self doubt defeat my self worth.
I will develop confidence. I will be PROUD of my work.
I may not be perfect & I may not know what the heck I'm doing...but what I do know is that I LOVE photography. I absolutely love it. It's a passion unlike anything else I have.
I have drive. I have will.
I have to learn to listen to the good things my friends & family have to say about my work and not focus on the negative. There will always be vultures who only want to see you fail. I WILL NOT FAIL. THEY WILL NOT KNOCK ME DOWN. It's simply not an option anymore.
And if Austin isn't going to welcome me with open arms?
Then I will open my arms and wait for them to come to me.
I AM good enough. I am. & SO ARE YOU.
So I challenge you...
DO what you LOVE & LOVE what you DO.
Don't ever let anyone,including yourself get you down.
Win your battle.
Because you're the only person that can make it happen.